


Let's Spend An Evil Night Together

by kaijuvenom



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, I Wrote This In An Hour Because I Needed To Write Something Quick To Get My Inspiration Back, Is It Really Post-Canon If The Ending Is Different?, Pollution Is A Non-Binary Lesbian, Post-Canon, The End Of The World Happened, it's super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 16:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19360696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaijuvenom/pseuds/kaijuvenom
Summary: It's the end of the world as they know it, but Pollution feels fine. Better than fine, in fact, because they now have all the time in the universe to spend with what they love; Decay, nuclear waste, chemicals with impossible to pronounce names, and Beelzebub.





	Let's Spend An Evil Night Together

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so short, I wanted to write more because I love my nasty lesbians, but I just churned this out really quick to get my creativity flowing again so I can write some more of my multichaptered fic. Hopefully more content of these two goblins will be written by me sometime in the future, but I can't make any promises right now.

_ I’ll hold your hand while they drag the river, I’ll cuddle you in the undertow. I’ll keep my hand on your trigger finger, take you down where the train tracks go. Let’s wile away the hours, let’s spend an evil night together. _

 

The world was burning, nothing but fire and pain everywhere. It was beautiful, and Beelzebub was at the edge of the beach, staring down at the ocean. Oddly enough, it was still clear, as if it hadn’t quite been touched by the end times yet, as if it still believed it had a fighting chance, as the waves lapped against the sand beneath her. 

“Heinous,” said a voice behind her, and she turned abruptly, blinking at the sudden appearance.

“I’m sure you’re here to fix that,” Beelzebub responded with a smile, gesturing for Pollution to pass by her and work their magic on the clear water.

“I will.” They moved to stand next to Beelzebub, looking down into the water before turning back. “The water is always the best part. I should savor it.” 

Beelzebub raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course I won’t.” They kneeled down, extending an arm and touching the water. As soon as they did, a dark oil excreted from their fingertips, seeping into the ocean, tendrils extending across the surface and deep under the water. 

They stood and took a few steps forward into the lapping waves, and Beelzebub watched in awe as more oil seeped from their legs. They closed their eyes and spun around once, twice, three times, their hair billowing out like a storm cloud before the rain, before opening them again. They extended a hand to Beelzebub, and she stared at it questioningly. 

“Come in. The water’s lovely.” 

She looked down at the water, now a dark brown color, plastic floating at the surface and glass shards sinking slowly to the bottom. It did look lovely. She stepped forward, meeting Pollution in the water, not minding that her pants were now soaked. She ran her hand through the oil, then brought it up, letting it trickle down her sleeve and stain her skin. 

“It’s been so long since you’ve come down to see us,” she commented. “Where were you before the end of the world?”

Pollution was staring at her arm, and reached out and took her hand, examining her skin and intertwining their fingers. “The humans were too fun to leave. They would have created all this without my help in a few years.”

She laughed, a short, dry sound, and shook her head. “It wouldn’t be the same, of course.” She stepped closer, and her hand went into Pollution’s tangled mess of fluffy hair without her even thinking about it. “I’ve missed you.” 

“We have all the time in the universe now, darling,” they said softly, watching her with unblinking eyes. 

One of the flies that usually stayed near Beelzebub’s face landed on Pollution’s finger as they moved their hand to her chin, and she smiled. “Is this Abigor?”

“It is.” Beelzebub tilted her head, watching the fly crawl up and down their finger before seeming to have found a comfortable spot on their skin and staying there. “He’s always liked you.”

“Maybe he picks up on your feelings.”

Pollution’s smile was so perfect, terrifying and heart stopping and the face of a nightmare, everything terrible and everything  _ right.  _ They were so close now, the murky water swirling beneath them, and Beelzebub took yet another slow step forward, kicking up trash and dirt. 

“What are you implying?”

“I think we both know, Bee.” 

Beelzebub could feel a slight warmth in her cheeks, and she looked away for just a second, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, taking in the smell of sulfur and gasoline and chemicals with twenty-syllable-names, before turning back to Pollution.

“Don’t call me that.”

“I always will. You want to know why?” 

Beelzebub took in their mischievous smirk and the hand on her chin, before nodding once. 

“Because I know it’ll make you kiss me to shut me up. Bee.” 

And that was exactly what Beelzebub did, she closed the minimal distance between them and kissed Pollution tenderly, stepping too far forward and pushing them both into the water, which only served to make the moment better. It was the end of the world, the final days, the ocean was turned to oil, and humanity was on the brink of extinction. Billions of living things were dying every day, wars and famine, disease and death all ran rampant, Hell had triumphed in the war between good and evil, and the world was coming to an end rapidly. 

It was completely and utterly perfect for the two immortal beings who celebrated in the chemicals and filth of the oceans, a perfect beginning to the story they’d been waiting to start for thousands of years, and a perfect ending to the story they’d finished. 

_ We’ll drink a toast in the torture chamber, you’ll go down on a bed of nails. We’ll rendezvous in cold blood, I’ll tie you up to the third rail. There’s no need for cake or flowers, we’ll spend an evil night together. _

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @kaijuvenom (I have writing commissions open!)


End file.
